The Cook Files vol 1: Sanji
by AllBlueChaser
Summary: Thirty short fics/drabbles about Sanji on various themes with various ratings. Mostly general but there is some light yaoi in one or two of them. Written for the 30 onepiece community on Livejournal.
1. Beginning: He did it

**Title: **He did it  
**Theme:** Beginning  
**Words:**97  
**Rating:**G  
**Warnings/Notes:** Insert favorite Sanji pairing by his side. No real warnings.

He had found All Blue.

His nakama were all still alive and safe.

He found someone to really, truly, and honestly love him in return and they were there next to him, squeezing his arm at this big moment.

"But now the dream is over…it's a little sad, isn't it Sanji?"

The cook shook his head.

He still had a dream…simple maybe…but he wanted to enjoy the fruits of the journey and completion of his dream with his loved ones for as long as possible.

As far as that dream was concerned it was only the beginning.


	2. Promise:Devils are Angels without love

**Title:** Devils are just Angels without someone Protecting them  
**Theme:** #2 Promise  
**Words:** 1,034  
**Rating:** PG13  
**Warnings:** Violence a little

She was a thief and a liar and worst of all she had broken his friends heart.

In short Sanji hated this woman and had no regrets being the first one to attack her with his newly learned kick even as she threw herself on the ground and pretended to cry. It would have connected too if the shitty old man hadn't plucked him out of the air mid-flight.

"It's not your place boy. I caught her before she poisoned the food and took our Beli…we could easily give her to the marines for that."

Sanji huffed and spit at the ground by the woman's feet.

"That's too easy! Look at what she did to Patcho!!" The boy pointed exaggeratedly toward the bloody and badly slashed man that crewmates were still trying to find clothes for until they could get him properly looked at and stitched up.

The Baratie had only been open a year but it was already famous for its off color clientele and staff and the excellent food. Sanji didn't let himself get pushed around by anyone except the old man and that as only because he as stronger (and he did owe him after all). Friends were nonexistent a long time as most staff talked down to him or were too stupid to be worthy of his time. Then Patcho came and he could truly say was his first friend on board.

Patcho seemed so much more refined then everyone else. He was maybe twenty with dark shoulder length but well-kept hair and he always wore a suit. He somehow got Sanji talking about All Blue one day and didn't make fun of him at all. He would talk to the blond boy several years his junior about what he was trying to cook that day and of several romantic exploits he had with almost every kind of woman.

"Just wait Sanji," He would say behind a smirk. "You'll know what I mean when you get older! A woman is like a heavenly comfort! She is everything good in the world and when you hold one you feel a little bit of your soul come home."

Sanji would promptly tell him "Bullshit, now go back to the part about why you put chocolate in the Chili." But would smile at the man's excitement over such a thing anyway.

That Patcho, his friend, had fallen in love and been seduced by a pretty woman that arrived earlier that day. He walked her to her ship, and she knocked him out, tied him up, and cut him until he told her where the old man's safe was. She left him to bleed to death, but Sanji had found him instead (when he saw the lady get back on the Baratie without Patcho and came looking).

Zeff found the lady adding poison to the staffs' meal for that night.

"She deserves a lot worse!" The small cook repeated it again looking the woman square in the face as he sneered.

"Exactly. The one who was captured, bound, tortured, and pride stolen from him should be the one to exact his justice." Zeff looked to the woman whose tears were beginning to look much more real. "We may not have to call the marines after all depending on what he decides."

Patcho came forward. He looked broken to the boy and that just made him madder. But after a moment he clenched his fist and hit the woman square across the face. Then again.

"No please! I needed the money! I can explain!" She begged.

"I could accept my own stupidity, but trying to kill my friends and steal their money? I can't forgive you! Messing with food on a ship at sea is the worst crime this boat could imagine." He continued to hit her as he cried out each word.

At some point she stopped making noise and some of the more built waiters dragged the body to the railing and threw it overboard. Patcho was taken away for stitches and treatment for the blood loss and newly fractured right hand. Sanji expected a lecture from Zeff despite not needing one, and was happily pleased when all he got was an appraising look and a "harrumph" from the old man.

The Baratie went back into operation. Everything was normal again until the next day…when a search of the woman's boat produced two small girls hiding under a bed and a baby boy crying in a makeshift crib.

"She didn't look or act like a mother." He said to Patcho later, who was devastated after finding out and quite frankly Sanji felt bad about it too. "Not that I would know what that is like."

"They won't know either now…the kids."

"Sure they will. Someone is going to raise them…whoever that is will be like a parent to them."

"Like Zeff?" Patcho asked and then smiled as the blond stubbornly refused to acknowledge the question. "Thanks Sanji. I think you helped me make up my mind. "

"Mind for what?"

"I'll adopt them and make amends that way. I should be the one to explain what happened to their mother when they are old enough and make sure they don't suffer in the mean time for not having one."

Sanji suddenly became preoccupied with his shoe laces. His friend was leaving.

"Sanji. Make me a promise. I never should have hurt that woman. No matter what a woman does, there is always a reason and we don't have to understand it. Our job is to protect them…and make sure they don't have to go to such lengths in order to survive. The world would be a happier place. My pride isn't worth her dying…isn't worth anything if I can't protect one woman even from myself. I'm serious Sanji…promise me that you won't hurt a woman, no matter what."

"Only if you promise to take good care of them and yourself too!" He bite out…just managing to swallow the tears back.

Patcho grinned and ruffled the boys hair….which he hated….but didn't mind this time and held out his hand and the boy took it with a strong shake.

"It's a promise between men!"

"That's right!"


	3. Axe: It Separates a Cook from a Novice

**Title: **It Separates a Cook from a Novice  
**Theme:** AXE  
**Words:**419  
**Rating:**G  
**Warnings:**none

The knife was held correctly, tip angled into the cutting board right in front of and in between the lobsters' small beady black eyes.

Zeff waited.

The boy's knuckles began to turn white.

The lobster began to furiously scratch its' puny legs over the board, as if sensing it may be a good time to escape, before the knife came down. Futile effort as the boy held it flush to the table.

Zeff waited.

Sanji took a breath and then another.

The older cook could tell the boy was remembering something unpleasant.

"This isn't the first thing you killed other than fish, is it?"

"No…Coq au vin…."

At first Zeff thought he had misheard it…that dish was way too advanced for someone his age to have tried. The boy took another breath and tried again in an annoyed rush.

"Coq au vin requires an old hen or rooster, killed, plucked, and drained of blood…but you have to keep several cups of the blood for the recipe. Lots of children like me wanted that job on the Orbit…and head chef said he would take the person who could prep the most complicated dish. I knew Coq au vine was hard…and it sounded more exotic then the recipes the other kids knew, and…"

"And?" He prompted.

"And I had a pet chicken and an axe."

"You missed?"

"She was still partially alive….for a while. It was…sad."

Zeff sighed.

"Oi brat! What are you?"

"A cook!"

"And what makes you a cook now? Why are you not just a prep cook and dish washer like the Orbit?!"

Sanji opened his mouth to speak…then shut it again as the answers he thought of were shot down by the shitty old man in his brain. Wasn't hard work, he worked just as hard back then. Wasn't that it would be easier for the geezer; he wouldn't just let someone become a chef they had to have something more.

Zeff slammed his wooden leg to the floor.

"TRAINING! Back then you had nothing but guts, determination, a chicken, and an axe. You didn't know how to humanely kill, clean, and butcher an animal. That's what we are doing now! You've learned the basics of knife technique. The only time a cook should use an axe now is for firewood! SO! Are you a cook or not?!"

Ker-chop!

Sanji began to prepare the bisected lobster on the sheet pan.

"Shut up old geezer, I'm trying to cook here."

Zeff smiled and walked out on to the deck. The baby eggplant was a quick study indeed.


	4. Mother:The feeling must be this

**Title:** The feeling must be this  
**Theme:** Mother  
**Words:** 471  
**Rating:** PG13  
**Warnings:** Underage smoking is bad, Mmmkay?

He was sick. AGAIN.

He actually had a very hardy immune system but the young cook figured you could only expect so much from your body without consequence. Fifteen year olds are probably not meant to steal smoke breaks in blizzard conditions on the open sea…in cotton pajamas.

At times like this he wonders what having a mother would be like.

Not that he had firm information on those types of things…but he had gotten the impression that mothers were soft and warm and would bring soup and tissues when you were sick. And hugs.

He had no memory of ever being hugged but there was one time when a lady customer had almost tripped and clung to him to right herself. It had sent tingles down his spine. Women really are something special.

Mothers were supposed to be the pinnacle of that. A great comfort. A source of warmth and love.

Zeff came in without knocking.

"Shitty geezer!! Ever...heard…of..Kno…" he found he was too tired to continue and ended up needing to scramble for the tissue box by his pillow just in time to catch a sneeze.

"Shut up! People fool enough to get sick when we have customers have no right to complain! Bad for your throat anyway…" the older chef muttered as he placed a tray of steaming orange soup and hot tea on the bed table within the boys reach.

Sanji looked at it and back to the chef.

"We'll I'm not going to let you starve. The sooner you get better the sooner you stop being a _useless_ pain in the ass."

The large man tossed a heavier quilt that had been earlier discarded back onto the bed with a snort.

"Even the blankets smell of your shitty smokes. I can't wait to be rid of you."

"Tough luck old man! You won't ever be getting rid of me!"

"If you don't get better soon, I'll be forced to throw you overboard and get someone else who can actually cook worth a damn."

"I'll be fine tomorrow! You'll see!" Sanji shouted hoarsely after the man as he left. He threw a pillow at the door in emphasis.

He took the tray and lifted the spoon of soup to his mouth and moaned as the flavor and heat spread over his tongue and down his throat.

For the first time since he had been sick did he finally taste something. Zeff had made a squash soup with enough kick that not only could the young man taste it but he felt his sinuses clear and heat zing through his senses pleasantly.

Hot and spicy soup made by the best chef in the world. The steam seamed to waft around him in caring embrace.

Zeff was no mom…but with this soup…Sanji thought that maybe he came kinda close.


	5. Wanted: A drink and a bounty

**Title:**A drink and a bounty  
**Theme:** wanted  
**Claim:**Sanji  
**Words: **344  
**Rating:**pg13  
**Warnings:**none

The woman sat next to Sanji at the bar without a word. She had a drink in her hands less then a minute later via his generosity.

She looked him over and asked him his name, which he foolishly provided. They chatted as she finished their drinks, her laughing and touching his arm every so often.

"I want you...to come with me." She purred into his ear. The chef took her hand and floated out the door next to her, big smile on his face.

She flirted, flattered, and led him along the village paths to a Navy outpost. Waited till she had sailors within arms reach of her date and pulled herself loose from his loving grasp.

"This man is Blackleg Sanji, former cook to the king of pirates! I am here to collect on his bounty."

She expected him to fight or yell or do something…the sucker just kept mooning over her, saying how clever she was.

Whatever. Papers were signed. She was handed over several heavy bags of Beri and left the outpost feeling quite content with the days work.

"Do you want me to carry those for you, sweetie-chan? They look awfully heavy!"

She froze as her eyes darted to the familiar suited figure to her left.

"Sanji?!! How!!?"

The cook shrugged.

"They were so weak; it took some effort not to hurt them too badly."

She frowned and handed over the reward money to him.

"So where to now? Back to the bar? To sweetie-chans apartment perhaps?" He asked hopefully.

"You got your money…please don't hurt me."

Sanji clicked his tongue at how little this girl knew him.

"I love being wanted…even if it isn't by you, the marines wanting me allowed you to earn some money right? I'm just carrying it for you."

"Really? Did you know that's what I was after from the beginning?"

"Of course. If picking up girls were that easy, Nami-san would be my wife by now." The cook grinned. "Maybe you want to buy me a drink anyway?"

She smiled back before nodding.


	6. Slingshot: A move made for him

**Title:**A move made for him  
**Theme:**Slingshot  
**Words:** 111  
**Rating:**pg  
**Warnings:**none

"The Slingshot"

The move went like this…  
1. You run at your enemy in ¾ speed in red leg style and launch yourself at their head.  
2. You grab the sides of the persons head.  
3. Clasp their center of gravity with the insoles of your feet.  
4. Use your momentum to swing your feet (their waist) over your head in a back flip.  
5. Bring insoles of shoes in to execute a stomp with heels to the pelvis area while slamming it into ground.  
6. Use momentum to spring back toward starting position.

Since he caught Usopp using his fine china for slingshot target practice…he thought it was entirely appropriate.


	7. Cat: Not so much puppy love

**Title:** not so much puppy love  
**Theme:**cat  
**Words:** 216  
**Rating:**pg-13  
**Warnings:**naughty language

"Mreow?"

Sanji looked at his emergency food supply with a pout.

"What? I already gave you some fish. You have plenty of water."

"Mreow?"

"What? You do realize that if you become a nuisance Zeff will force me to cook you early…no matter how good at catching mice you might be."

"Mreow?" The small orange kitten nuzzled against the blond cooks leg. Sanji bent down and pet the small cat and smiled as it purred and leaned into him.

"You just want some attention? No one gets praise or attention here without working for it you know, shitty kitten."

A small pink tongue ran softly across the chefs thumb in protest. Sanjis' cheeks turned red and he nearly shook from the cuteness.

"Aww…."

Sanjis' head whipped toward the door where Patty and Carne were already snickering at his expense.

"I always knew the brat would grow up to love pussy, but to start so young!"

"Hehe…Sanji…I think she might be a little young for you."

"Shut up Assholes!!" The kick to door didn't close it as much as throw it off it's hinges and slam both men against the hallway wall. Sanji sat in a huff…but found it impossible to stay mad as a kitten stumbled up into his lap and promptly fell asleep purring.


	8. Loyalty: Realization

**Title:** Realization  
**Theme:** loyalty  
**Words:**428  
**Rating:**pg-13  
**Warnings:**none

A puny, clumsy, choreboy was asking him to leave his home. Leave the old geezer.

Of course there was no way in hell. It wasn't like one kid in a strawhat was going to convince him. Not after what that man did. Not just the saving him from drowning, not the giving him all the available food, and not for forgiving him when he later attacked him. What bonded him to that shitty old chef was the fact for the first time in his life…someone validated his dream.

All Blue wasn't his dream alone anymore…and that made it more real than it had ever been. Zeff believed him and believed in All Blue. Believed and still decided to eat his own foot…and let Sanji survive.

He was going to stick to the old man until he died. Make sure that Zeffs newer dream named Baratie panned out for good and he would protect it with his life.

It was called loyalty and Sanji had it over abundance.

So why…a few hours later did his loyalty feel suddenly shaky?

First a green haired companion of the choreboy made him feel like he was more of a coward for putting his dreams aside instead of it being the just and noble sacrifice he had always considered it.

Then when the place was going to shit that kid Luffy…he destroyed part of his home and told him straight out that the old man hadn't saved him just to watch him give his life for him. It implied that he was actually doing the geezer a disservice!

As he pulled the captain from the sea he couldn't help but wonder. Krieg was beaten by this man. Maybe he could really go for his dream to be king of the pirates.

And he wanted Sanji to go with him.  
But Sanji was loyal to Zeff and Baratie and the past there.

By the end of the day he was leaning against a door…listening to the closest thing he had to a father ask Luffy to take Sanji with him. The kid had been right…the old man was best paid back by following his…no…their dream.

He ended up leaving after all with an idiot captain. Strangely he didn't feel at all bad about it.

You can be loyal to more than one thing at once. You can be loyal to your past and still be loyal to a new captain, to new nakama, to your dreams, and your future. Although he just realized this, it sounded like a perfect fit to the cook.


	9. Laugh:Laughing is not cool

**Title:** Laughing is not cool  
**Theme:**Laugh  
**Words:**290  
**Rating:**G  
**Warnings:**None

Sanji didn't consider himself much of a laugher.

He liked providing the laughs within reason…a fast quip, a witty comment, or an occasional amusing story were all great. Being made fun of? No.

He wanted to be cool. Rather, he WAS cool and he wanted everyone to see that about him.

That means being calm and in control.

Anything above the sly smile, smirk, or light chuckle…was out of control. Unattractive. Just not cool. Not Sanji.

But that was blown away but the fucking marimo (figures, that bastard always a pain in the ass) and HELL he was laughing so hard he didn't even care anymore.

To watch him on the ground….he had been concerned at first.

"I'm sorry I was ever born."

It wasn't for a few minutes until he realized the wrongness of that scene.

It started out as a chuckle…perfectly in control. But the bastards face has reacted so strongly…and his face was getting red.

"Oh Sorry…" He started knowing how much it must kill Zoro…the embarrassment. Maybe he should cut the man a break. "I'm sorry I was ever born." He finished with a _barely_ controlled laugh.

Giving each other mercy wasn't something they did. Would be an insult if he didn't revel in the idiots' humiliation a little bit.

But he hadn't counted on the bastards face to be SO red and twist in such a funny way. His line was so perfect too. The hilarity swept the cook away like a tsunami that he couldn't escape…couldn't even breathe.  
Just laugh and laugh.

Maybe it was worth looking like an idiot to laugh at one.

NAH.

This would have to be a one-time exception.

Well, until the next time.

Underestimating the idiots sometimes hilarious idiocy did seem foolish indeed.


	10. Price: Live the dream again

**Title:**Live the dream again  
**Theme:** price  
**Words:**157  
**Rating:**G  
**Warnings:**None

Traveling with the Strawhats…no…being a Strawhat pirate was the best time of his life so far.

He had laughed, cried, fought, protected, and adventured after their dreams together with everyone. His other family. His nakama.

Three days at the small dot of land floating in All Blue and the crew was shoving off.

All Blue was his dream. The old mans dream. Three days was not enough to really sink his feet into the sand, throw a fishing line into the sea, or cook anything on the scale of his dreams. Not enough to feel like he was truly here.

Letting the crew leave without him…would be the price he would have to pay in order to get his fill.

He had found it. He knew where it was now. Knew it existed.

Letting them go was too high a price.

He would come back when he was ready. For now…his home and dream was with them.


	11. Sheep: Sleepless Night

**Title:** Sleepless Night  
**Theme:** Sheep  
**Words:**460  
**Rating:**pg13  
**Warnings:**none

"Sanji? You still awake?" Chopper whispered in concern. The tossing and turning above him had woken him up.

A long sigh came from the dark above the little deer.

"Yeah…sorry Chopper, just can't get to sleep."

"Your wounds okay? The stitches open or anything? Feeling any pain?"

"No everything is okay."

"With all the fighting today you should be passed out like all the others…something must be wrong. Should I check you out really fast?"

"No…I am actually exhausted, but my brain doesn't want to turn off."

Chopper pulled up the covers to his mouth in a giggle.

"Thinking about how we saved the village?"

"Ha…no. Actually I'm trying to figure out what to make for the big banquet tomorrow."

"But…aren't they cooking for us?"

"I'm sure they are excellent cooks…but from the size of the village, it is all farms, no hotels, no restaurants, they probably aren't used to cooking for more people then maybe thirty at a time."

Chopper opened his mouth but Sanji anticipated the next question and cut him off.

"There may not be more than thirty people in the village, Chopper, but we have Luffy. Also I think Luffy, the entire crew, and whole village really deserves a first class banquet that could feed everyone. Don't you?"

"MmmHmm!" Chopper nodded excitedly despite Sanji being unable to see it. "I'm sure you'll come up with something Sanji! Want a sleeping pill?"

"Thanks but no…I need to wake up early to start…" A frustrated stream of curses ensued before the chef caught himself. "WHATEVER the hell I decide to make. Any other thoughts?"

"Well meditation is a good way to clear your thoughts and relax. Just empty your mind of thought and let unconsciousness take you."

"Well that certainly explains why the brainless marimo is always sleeping, but if I could 'empty my mind' I wouldn't need any shitty meditation, would I?"

"Ah! How about this then! You can count sheep! Imagine fluffy white sheep, like the ones I got directions from this morning on our way to the caves, jumping over a fence. That might help."

"Sheep…? Hmm. Thanks Chopper that might just work."

"Oh good…now you can get some sleep."

"Yes…I think those sheep would be plenty…and I saw plenty of wild mint too. Very versatile…I could barbeque it if I don't have time for enough roasts."

"Sanji?"

"Sheep is a perfect idea Chopper! We cooks like to call them lamb or mutton though depending on the age…" The blond chef let out a big yawn and continued sleepily. "Thanks…they'll be delicious. See you in the morning."

"Uh…'night Sanji."

Chopper pictured that nice herd of sheep that cheerily gave him directions earlier and found he couldn't sleep a wink. No matter how many sheep he counted.


	12. Clown: They make some laughsome scream

**Title:** They make some laugh..some scream  
**Theme:** Clown  
**Words:**135  
**Rating:**G  
**Warnings:** Kind of unenlighted viewpoint of our dear cook.

Sanji hates clowns.

It may not look it but the blond cook puts a lot of effort in looking trim, groomed, and polished. His outfit matching and coordinated and fitted to his slender frame handsomely.

Clowns seem to go out of their way to be garishly ugly, wear unnatural make up, and dress in the most unflattering garments the cook would ever imagine.

They think they are happy bastions of joy.

The cook is not amused.

Worst of all…they force those around them to participate in their antics. A cool suave demeanor could easily be blown to smithereens in their presence as they draw you in and fool you.

"You're one of us!" They chanted after him even as he ran.

NO.

He would never be a clown willingly…

Even if they weren't _technically_ clowns.


	13. Tangerine: A Pavlov effect

**Title:** A Pavlov effect  
**Theme:** tangerine  
**Words:**709  
**Rating:** Nc-17ish..maybe R  
**Warnings:** Swears and masturbation. Sanji is well above age in this (and really only hurting himself).

He had gotten an unfortunate side effect.

It was just something that men needed to do sometimes.

He loved Nami-swan…and had sometimes pictured her doing…ahem…things to him or sometimes just stripping slowly for the proper inspiration. No big deal.

He closes his eyes and pictures the arousing scene, imagining the sweet smell of tangerine on her skin and hair, her lovely smile…and he would take cock in hand and stroke in a nice comfortable rhythm until release found him.

He supposed he didn't notice the problem at first since he was always a little bit aroused around Nami-san.

No, the problem had smacked him in the face all at once.

He had been washing dishes…zoning out as each plate was clean. Suddenly he became aware that he was getting hard for apparently no reason, his erection pressing painfully into the cabinetry.

An arm wrapped around his waist and the weight of a head was felt against his back. His arousal throbbed as it became clear…the smell of tangerines.

"Sanjiiii…I'm hungry!" Luffy whined as the hug tightened. The cook tossed the captain out, shut the door, and locked it, so fast Luffy was dizzy on the deck still questioning what had happened.

Inside the galley the cook was breathing hard and pressing painfully against his shitty bastard of a betraying penis in abject horror. BEGGING it to go down.

About ten minutes later it deflated and he rinsed his face off in the since.

A fluke. The rubber bastard must have been playing in Nami-swans trees again or something. He finished the dishes in peace while mulling over his concern at such a strong physical reaction from just a whiff of tangerine.

Later on deck the shitty swordsman had decided to sleep right in the middle of the fucking way to the crows nest, and Sanji felt it was his duty to kick the bastard at least four feet to the left if not wake him for the inconvenience of having to go around him.

A fight had started in earnest…same old, same old. He was holding the bastards sword aloft with his shoe and sneered as he liked to do when they had moments of stalemate, when he felt the telltale throb from his groin. Up came the smell of potent tangerine, noticeable this time, and ZING Sanji felt his blood rush to his dick so fast he felt his face flush.

Zoro noticed something wrong and eased off slightly as if to ask if something was wrong. The cook quickly disengaged and spun around, limping back to the galley and tossing something about starting dinner over his shoulder.

He actually jacked off this time…right there in the locked kitchen. He cursed the whole time…hating that somehow the shitty captain and now the fucking marimo were right there each time the smell had come and triggered the fucking embarrassing arousal.

The worst part was he still could smell the tangerine… like marimo had been sweating it and somehow he had gotten it on him, intensifying everything.

He was livid that the moment he came he had been thinking about Zoro potentially smelling like sweet tangerines.

Dinner time. The crew filed in and Sanji served them all before taking a seat himself.

Like a brick wall arousal hit him again. Worst it had been yet. He hid the tenting in his pants with his napkin and tried not to give in the urge to touch himself across the table from his goddess and rest of the crew.

"Thanks Nami! It worked really well!" Luffy called between complimenting the food and stuffing his face with a pork loin.

The navigator smiled as she swallowed a small bite herself.

"Oh you all will be buying me more and paying a 15% convenience fee…but it's going to be a while till the next island and we can go shopping. I'd rather you all use my body wash than stink up the place."

Sanji tried to pay attention to the conversation, he really did…but he had long lost the battle with himself and prayed no one noticed his hand down his pants.

He couldn't really pay attention to anything at the moment…he just needed relief…and prayed the phantom tangerines would give him relief soon.


	14. Lies: Part of the job

**Title:** Part of the job  
**Theme:** lies  
**Words:**444  
**Rating:**G  
**Warnings:**none

Luffy was drooling and his fingers wiggled with excitement as they reached out for the first perfectly seared and stuffed steak. It was in his mouth under a second later.

"It's good! SanjI! What's in it?"

A kick came to the back of the captains head, sending some of the partially chewed contents spewing out of the open mouth and back on to Luffy's plate.

"Close your mouth, chew, swallow, and then speak!" The cook punctuated for emphasis. Luffy stuffed the rest of his fallen dinner back into his mouth and finished in one gulp. Sanji' eyebrow twitched in frustrated concession. Good enough he supposed.

"What was in the middle?" Luffy tried again.

"You liked it right?" The captain nodded excitedly as he reached for another, half expecting the chef to stop him from the task but grinned even wider when he brought another slice of stuffed meat to his mouth. Sanji joined him in the smile. "It's no wonder…it is just more of the tougher meat ground with fragrant herbs till they took on their fresh green pesto appearance."

The cook didn't care that Luffy was no longer listening. He just enjoyed the sight of his fellow crew enjoying his meal.

Later while washing he was confronted while washing dishes. Usopp clicked his tongue confidently like he had the perfect blackmail material.

"Liar. That was totally some kind of shredded salad." The cook continued on to start washing the next dish.

"Not just any salad…that was a certain creation of mine that is particularly high fiber and nutrition."

"So…you admit it?"

"My job Usopp, is not to cater to what you guys want. It is to provide you all with the right nutrition. I doubt Luffy cares but if it makes it even a little easier for him to eat properly I'm going to lie. It's part of the job."

"It's wrong to lie." Usopp said in mock innocence.

"Like I want to hear that from you, asshole." Sanji chuckled. " Besides you should be more concerned about the other lies."

"Other lies?"

"You might eat all the vegetables Usopp…but when the meat runs low, you would be surprised at what delicacies of brain and entrails you have already eaten on this ship." Sanji gave him an evil grin. "And asked for seconds of."

Sanji smiled even wider as Usopp paled at the information.

"Of course I could be lying now…so you don't question your cooks food, right?"

"If you did it would just be part of the job." The sniper laughed back.

"I always knew you were one of the smart ones." The cook replied as he returned his attention to the dishes.


	15. Cook: More than a profession

"Is there anything in particular you wanted to do?" Zeff looked at the skinny boy wrapped in a wool blanket, still looking starved despite the food the rescue ship had given him. "On the sea restaurant…if you were serious about helping."

Sanji looked at the man like he was truly an idiot.

"Cook."

"You know you could do something else…design, promotion, book keeping. There are tons of jobs that could offer you leverage when you leave." The kid was young and still had the whole world open to him after all.

"Since I'm not leaving that shit doesn't matter."

"Won't you have to leave to find All Blue one day?"

The boy shrugged like he hadn't considered his dream at all since he was on the island. A bad sign and definite change from the kid that attacked him on the boat.

"What point is there in finding All Blue if I am some shitty accountant? I want to cook those fish and taste the ocean in each bite! Wouldn't you?"

The now former pirate smiled.

"Yeah, I guess I would."

If he wanted to cook, Zeff was going to make him the best damn cook anywhere. They could always work on that leaving part later…what was the rush?


	16. Friendship: The way he likes it

A man with a jagged sword and a beautiful woman with a large fan.

Behind them, Luffy drowning in a vat of seastone infused jelly.

Sanji and Zoro.

"You'll never defeat me…I am the best swordsman on the Grandline." The stranger growled.

"He's yours cook." Zoro said simply with no sign of annoyance or regret.

"Hmm? Wouldn't you want to fight someone claiming to be the best?"

"If he can't defeat you, then he isn't worth my time anyway. The other one isn't your type anyway, right?"

The cook grinned. This was the kind of friendship he had with the Marimo. One of his favorites. Simple, strong, understated….

"First one to save the shitty captain wins."

…and always violent, fun, and competitive.

Zoro smirked his agreement as he lunged forward, swords drawn.


	17. Ship: Their cook

It was another delicious meal…whipped out of virtually nothing, filling, and apparently full of nutrition.

And **delicious**.

The crew had sighed happily with their full bodies content from the feed and relaxing after the conclusion of another crazy adventure.

"Sanji, promise me you'll always cook for me."

The cook smiled contently behind his cigarette.

"Of course, You are the captain…"

"I want in on that action."

Sanjis' smile faded a bit in surprise. Zoro?

"Me too!" Usopp called and then suddenly everyone was shouting out their agreement and their 'me too's .

He had been so happy he couldn't help but agree.

As he stood at the edge of his tropical paradise years later, eight baskets of well packed food wrapped on the beach for the first time, he felt a twinge of annoyance.

The messenger bird that Nami had sent could carry maybe one at most.

The cooking was the easy part…how the hell was he supposed to ship it?


	18. Tears: Early Visit

"God help me, there won't be a Baratie by the time I get back." Zeff grumbled when he felt Sanji standing behind him on the dock.

_Somehow I knew it would be like this. _

"I'm sure Patty and Carne can handle the month or two without you so you can see the real deal." Sanji sighed, kicking off his shoes and rolling up the cuffs to sit next to the man.

_Pretending like nothing is wrong. _

"Yeah I suppose I trained them well enough to hold' em over till I get back. I better be bringing me some good recipes though to make the trip worth it, eggplant." He grinned. Sanji nodded and pretended not to notice the mans one good foot splash playfully in the crystal All Blue water.

"You could probably find some improvements on them, shitty geezer. You always do."

_You came too fast. I had just sent the log pose. I know you, shitty old man. _

Zeff grunted lightly.

"Your food has gotten better…and the view is pretty good here too. You did well for yourself."

Sanji agreed but was struck silent as he looked off into the sunset staining the sky above their dream.

_If Chopper were with me…would it matter?_

The older chef went into a violent coughing fit and weakly turned to Sanji to see if he noticed. Sanji watched himself be evaluated from his peripheral vision but did his damnedness not to notice.

_It was a miracle the delivery bird found you at all on the grand line before reaching its East Blue destination, you bastard. _

"Did you have requests for supper?"

"You don't have to cook for me every meal…catch me a fish and I'll make something tonight. Or we could make it together."

_You came to find me to say good bye. _

"What am I? Your shitty personal fisherman?"

"Same old pain in the ass I see. Don't make me kick your upstart ass! Just go get the fish…I'm getting hungry."

"Yeah, Yeah." Sanji stood and collected his shoes. He turned back to Zeff when he reached the end of the dock. He was coughing again…and slumping heavily now that the blond was out of sight.

Going back would put more pressure on him to make things seem that everything was alright.

Sanji took the step up into his beach house and leaned against the door once it was shut behind him.

The tears came freely…flowing in such quantity he wondered where he was getting it all. He needed to do it now. Cry his eyes out now so Zeff was in no danger of seeing a single drop.

Tonight they would have the best meal of their lives overlooking All Blue.

_He is going to be dead by morning._


	19. Pet: Please pet me

His golden hair was plucked out of his face and Sanji felt the blinding rays of sunlight teasing the tops of his eyelids. He opened his eyes to the brightness and squinted, waiting to see.

The girl was too young to go ga-ga over and kind of had an odd appearance that reminded him of…those shitty world nobles.

Shit.

"You're my pet now."

His fingers flew to his neck to confirm this had to be a fucked up dream. But the collar was real. He realized his head was in the girls lap and began to brace up his arms to leave it.

"Uh…uh…uh! I was told by daddy that if you don't do _exactly_ what I say I am supposed to push the button and he'll give me another one instead. I don't wanna do that though because you're so pretty." She guided his head back into her lap and began to fiddle with his hair again.

"Thanks but I think you mean handsome." He replied while he internally groaned. The island they landed on was just supposed to be some rinky dink island...why nobles were there was a complete mystery.

"Nope! Pretty!"

"Handsome."

"Pretty! You have shiny blond hair and blue eyes! You are pretty."

Sanji sighed in defeat. How could this get any worse?

"Say it!"

"Eh?" said the cook, wishing desperately he could smoke but deciding against it.

"Say 'I'm the prettiest pet in the entire world! Please pet me!' "

Sanji scoffed.

"I don't think so…I am not pretty and I am not a pet like some animal."

For a second he thought he was going to explode…or she was going to cry but suddenly she ran out from under him, letting his head slam to the floor with a bang, and went digging through her drawer.

She came back and popped an orangey gold set of cat ears on his head and gave him a look that seemed to imply that should make it all better.

"Now say it or I'm going to get angry."

Sanji sighed with the realization that whenever he opened his mouth he just made his problems worse.

"I'm the prettiest pet in the entire world. Please pet me."

"Again! But this time say it like you mean it. Like 'I'm the _prreettiest_ pet in the _entire_ world! _Pleeeeaseeee_ pet me!"

He grit his teeth and said it. She made it say it over and over again until he was so tired he tried to say it exactly how she wanted…fake pride and near begging included.

She clapped her hands together and pet him carefully on his head (as not to disrupt his new ears).

"That's right! A good and pretty pet gets rewarded!"

To his horror the mental exhaustion now being over…the petting actually felt kind of good and he was asleep within moments. He told himself as he drifted off the sedative must not have been totally out of his system yet.

He was rescued two months later…it taking so long since apparently most of the straw hats had been enslaved by other family members and only Luffy, Chopper, and Usopp were left to plan and execute the rescue.

Sanji survived being Susies' prettiest pet…and the costume changes…and competing in pet beauty pageants against Susies friends pets. He had pleased his Queen-princess Susie by winning a few of them too. Only natural...he **was** the prettiest after all!

Turns out the rest of the crew had been given more labor intensive tasks and he was the only pet. He felt bad for them that they didn't have it as easy he did. He got to play all day. He was feed. He didn't get hurt at all...except when Susie sewn on the cat ears but he was sure that wouldn't have hurt if he hadn't been stupid and struggled.

"I'm the _prreettiest_ pet in the _entire_ world! _Pleeeeaseeee_ pet me!" he purred subconsciously as his head hit the pillow. A hand came and pet his hair (careful of the stitches removing the cat ears had left behind) and he smiled at the reward and drifted peacefully off to sleep.

Zoro frowned at the chef in concern as he pulled his hand away. Chopper said the brainwashing would break soon…for now this was all he could do. Well until the crew could REALLY get their hands on the nobles anyway. He cracked his knuckles in anticipation.


	20. Curse: Curse of the the past

It was a curse.

Someone told him once it was phermonones or some shitty chemical something or other he just gave off naturally.

Since he couldn't get rid of it…that still fit the word curse.

Ever since he was a boy…he had felt the eyes on him. Evaluating his potential and fantasing about doing inappropriate things to him.

Zeff kept him safe…sorta…he could still feel the other cooks eyes on him too.

"Maybe they are attracted to you because you look so feminine and innocent." Someone had suggested.

"Fuck that shit." Sanji had thought and started wearing suits all the time and taking up smoking.

He didn't realize it but looking older…it allowed more men to openly look and lust after him, thinking it was okay.

When his hormones hit he went after the girls…but was always interrupted by some man nearby, either by the womans lover or someone aiming to be his.

Women never seemed to come to Baratie without some guy on her arm.

He had felt lonely…and there had been lots of men willing to pay him attention…to worship the body they had lusted after for so long.

So sometimes he let them.

He quickly became the subject of wildfire rumor and unfair reputation.

He wasn't a slut…but with looks like that…and with everyone knowing someone who knew someone who slept with the blond, how could that be true?

But then he had gotten aboard the Merry with Luffys crew…and they didn't know about the rumors. The ladies would bend to his charms in time.

He didn't mind waiting. The curse was something he could never escape… and Luffy, Zoro, and Usopp were great company.

So great in fact…it didn't feel like a curse at all now, just love.


	21. Devil Fruit: An Ideal challenge

"I'll release your crew if you do a simple favor for me…" the Baron had said. A _simple _favor?

Yeah right.

Devil Fruits taste like shit. Everyone knows that.

Even a chef like himself wouldn't….but then again Sanji hadn't ever heard of another chef trying to do something with devils fruit before.

How could they when they wouldn't be able to taste the fruit?

But that was a challenge he had actually done before. Zeff had handed him a fruit he had never seen years ago and told him to make it into a dessert…without tasting it.

You can tell what an orange tastes like just by smelling it. A large portion of taste is actually smell…and texture…things you can determine without putting a bite ever in your mouth.

It was a challenge that suddenly appealed to him. He had learned so much since that simple fruit had inspired an "unique and brilliant tasting sorbet" that he had a customer sample for him.

To be known as the only chef to make a Devils Fruit taste good…had a nice prestige to it too.

"Sure thing, shitty Baron. Release the crew and I'll make it delicious."

He had been tossed the tan oblong pineapple shaped fruit covered in swirls by the barons sexy sexy mellorine assistant (that Sanji had already adequately praised upon the groups first arrival) and was ushered quickly to the large opulent kitchen.

Sanji stared at the fruit a moment before lifting it to his nose and inhaling. A normal person would have smelled nothing. A fine cooks nose detected a light muskiness hidden beneath a light waxy film. He took out a zester and ran it across the surface in a long firm stroke, inhaling the scent deeply…a peppery bitterness. A slim slice to the interior revealed a firm, mealy apple or potato texture and an acidic smelling juice.

Then there was a pit…a firm cluster of gritty hard seeds that looked like honest to goodness sand from the beach and even smelled of ocean.

Sanji stubbed out the cigarette, rolled up his sleeves, and grinned. He was going to make this piece of shit fruit bend to his will and give the Baron something worthy of drooling.

About two hours later Sanji presented four dishes to the Baron and surprisingly to his family as well. Some careful re-plating and the group sat at a long dining table as the chef stood ready to answer any questions.

"My wife," he presented to the Chef, "And you already met my daughter April." He said addressing the cutie-chan assistant. "And this is my other daughter June." The Baron finished as a cute girl who looked no older than eight years old excitedly sat on a large cushion propped the chair.

Sanji explained each dish…the careful preparation…the brining and marinating of this piece, the infusion and baking of that one, the dredged and deep fried delight that is that one, and so on.

June lifted her fork eagerly to try the first bite.

"WAIT!" All heads turned to the cook who was openly gaping at June. "The person who eats the first bite is the one that gets the powers and the curse. It is a hard life a for a young cutie-chan like yourself…we should let your dad eat first."

The Baron began to chuckle and then bubble with laughter which quickly spread to his wife and two daughters.

"You don't understand, Mr. Chef. This fruit I procured specifically for June. She is quite aware what she is giving up…and what she is gaining. We have been waiting for a chef to prepare it for her due to her condition."

"Her condition?"

June took the first virgin bite of the fried devils fruit, licked her lips, and sighed in contentment.

"It is delicious."

April smiled at her sister and addressed the cook happily.

"June is my OLDER sister…she has a condition where she can't age past ten and has a very sensitive system. Her pallet wouldn't even let her lick the devil fruit before you can along."

Sanji looked back to June skeptically, could such a thing really exist. The most beautiful woman he had ever seen…would ever see sat in her seat instead. His jaw dropped to the floor and he felt his pulse was beginning to race already.

June laughed beautifully at Sanjis expression and to him it was an echo of chimes on the ocean.

"Looks like it worked, the ideal-ideal fruit." She smiled at the blond cook, sending shivers down his spine. She looked down at herself and her vision of a smile extended wider. "Very nice. I might just make your ideal version of me my default. Father, you _have_ to try this…it is fantastic and you don't want it to get cold. Devils fruit is incredibly rare after all." She smirked.

Sanji just couldn't pull his eyes away from this vision…so perfect. It took the newly freed crew coming to collect him and reminding him they needed to leave before he realized any time had passed at all.

He briefly considered staying with June-swan forever…until she morphed into Robin-chans ideal man to experiment a bit and he realized he was being swayed by a shitty fruit when he already lived with two honest to goodness beauties.

Plus he had a crew that needed him, who knows when another devils fruit will be needed to be made edible for their freedom again. After all to his knowledge, he was the only one in the world qualified to take up the challenge.

If he could get more thankful goodbye kisses from other girls like June and April too then that was a part of his gentlemanly duty he was all too glad to fill.


	22. Veggies: Energy Drink

"What is this this shit?" Zoro sniffed the green seaweed looking sludge in the glass before looking to the cook.

Sanji smirked at the marimos expected complete lack of manners.

"Your veggie brothers…drink, drink! I need to know if this works."

"Eh? What works?"

"Well it is like a nutrition drink…it should increase your health and stamina."

"Sounds like something _you_ should try."

"Do I fall asleep immediately after any strenuous activity? No…if you recall that would be you." The cook sniped, smile still on his lips, delighting even further as he placed a cigarette to his lips in mockery of the health drink on the table.  
Zoro ignored the comment fully and took the glass to his mouth and took several large swallows.

Cold and crisp cucumber, celery, carrot, something, something, and then a kick of something hot, and ending in some smooth creamy squash. The swordsman licked his lips and grinned.

"You did good cook."

"Did I? Give me a taste, then."

Zoro handed him the glass but Sanjis hand grabbed above his wrist and pulled him into a kiss. The rare show of affection caught him by surprise and it took a moment for Zoro to respond properly. The cook took a breath as it ended and considered.

"Hmm…not bad. If that's all you got though…I definitely need to increase the heat and maybe put some more robust veggies into the mix."

Zoro yanked the blond back to him sloshing the drink as he did.

"Try it again, cook." This time Zoro initiated the kiss this time and did it right, leaving the cook breathless.

"Yeah…. This time I think I tasted a lot more depth. A perfect balance…I think I could grow to love it even…" Zoro put a hand to the cooks mouth before kissing it again.

"You fucking talk too much."


	23. Smoke: Smoke gets in your hair

"Uh…chef? Sanji is on fire. Again."

Sure enough the kitchen had thin wispy smoke quickly expanding from the fourteen year old boy patting his hair and collar to stop the smoldering, cursing the entire time.

Sanji had grown out his hair a year or two prior…some people thought he was rebelling, or trying to pick up chicks, or compensating for the fact he couldn't grow a huge mustache like the head chef.

Regardless as why, Zeff hadn't given a shit. It suited the teen to a certain extent and the boy kept it neat and still masculine.

The other chefs seemed to be getting distracted by it when walking by and a flambé would come a little too close to the long blond strands or some other part of the cook.

This had been the seventh time the acrid smoke fouled the kitchen. No more.

Ten minutes later Sanji sat on the railing thinking over the ultimatum.

"One stink allowed per person on this ship, boy! You lose the fire-magnet hair or the cigarettes. Your choice."

He brought a cigarette to his lips and before hunting for the lighter, pulled the band out of his hair, letting the blond fly freely in the wind. Now he put flame to cigarette and inhaled deeply. Savoring. The ocean wind flitting and streaming through his hair…the calming light burn in his throat and lungs.

He tried to picture himself in five years. Long hair. No cigarette. Debonair. Then short hair and cigarette. Classy with an edge of mystery and danger.

He shouldn't have to decide. It wasn't his fault the other chefs were clumsy fucks around him. He loved to smoke. Loved his hair. He ran his sensitive fingers through it to the tips.

He frowned as he came across the ruined burnt ends smelling of sharp soot.

He tossed the butt overboard and went to find Zeff in his room.

"Get the scissors."


	24. Thief: Food thieves punishment

On a ship at sea…food and water are the highest in value. More than gold, silver, or all the Beli in the world. What use is the money if you are dead? If you've had to watch your companions painfully starve to death?

Therefore stealing food is one of the worst sins one could do on the high seas in Sanjis' opinion.

Even his own nakama were not allowed to snitch food. There were careful rules all for the sake of keeping an accurate, full, and healthy pantry inventory.

Not that he didn't mislead his companions a little. Anything in the fridge was in his estimation as fair game…but telling them that wouldn't satisfy their hunger as much as if they thought they got away with something from time to time.

Sanji could name what was in the pantry down to the last bread crumb and anyone caught messing with it…was doomed.

While in port, without the crews knowledge a thief snuck on board…stowed away in the pantry and feasted.

The cook was livid and chased after the culprit with a cleaver.

Robin scooped up the thief and handed the small mouse to Luffy.

Luffy danced around at the new found wildlife.

"Sanji let's keep it!" He looked hopefully at the cook. Seeing the murder in the chefs eyes he amended his argument. "It is a girl mouse I think…you don't wanna hurt a girl right?"

The cooks brow twitched.

"There is no such thing as a girl mouse…there is only vermin." Came the cooks cold reply.

"But Sanji, she won't eat much." Usopp tried.

"It already ate too much." Sanji returned.

"And we can play with her!" Luffy added.

"Oh…then I suppose we can keep her if she can play with us. Me first." Sanji took the mouse and with a hard kick sent the furball sailing overboard more than twenty miles away. "Let's start with a swim."

Luffy looked out at the sea and turned sadly to the cook.  
"It's only fair. All food thieves get a kick…"

Luffy nodded…that he understood.


	25. Defeat: The totally wrong thing to say

It was pretty simple. He had to win.

If he was defeated here…all his nakama would be in danger.

He could hear Nami scream from behind him and found the strength to get up from the alluring and comfortable ground, if only to show her that the head wound wasn't fatal like she feared.

He just needed to hold on a little longer…Luffy was charging up the hill. Together they could take down the bastard with ease.

"You should have stayed down. No matter. You'll be dead soon anyway…that will make taking the slut that much sweeter. Her crying over your corpse and knowing you had jack shit when it came to protecting her..." The man licked his lips with a leer in Namis direction, not noticing Sanji had gone very still.

Unforgivable.

Sanji clenched his fists as he felt his consciousness ignite in rage. To think he was going to give the bastard the honor of having the captain of the strawhats be the one to dispatch him. NO. He that was far to low for that…he was scum better scrapped of the bottom of well worn shoes.

Luckily the cook had such a pair.

Before the giant shithead had opened his mouth he had a chance…

Now a cook was about to make sure he tasted brutal and complete defeat.


	26. Hat: Not his problem but

He was dirty despite almost drowning.

Punctures made from the assholes darts. Scratches and gouges from hitting the bastards' armor, shield, and shitty ass face.

It wasn't really his job to clean him up…but he was still technically a chore boy under his management.

He did do something amazing.

Sanji stripped the boy gently. Cleaned and dressed each wound with a healing salve. Put him in the blond cooks very own bed.

Washed his clothes. Sewed up a few holes while he was at it.

All that was left was the hat.

Frayed at the edges, and stinking to high heaven of sweat, must, and hints of blood.

Time for the kid to get a new hat…but, Sanjis' hand hesitated above the trash incinerator, he hadn't asked for one. He was still unconscious and he really didn't seem like the guy to do or keep something without reason (albeit a stupid one).

He kept it for a reason. It was important.

Fine.

He scrubbed the damn thing. Mended the damn thing. Went to the kitchen storage and pulled out the crap they used to waterproof and preserve the sample slices of pie and cake so they didn't have to waste those slices over and over.

He'd be damned if he'd be doing this again everytime the idiot got in to a fight.

Sanji shook his head in annoyance. The kid was going to be leaving soon enough; he wouldn't be there for Luffys' next battle.

He slathered on the goo and then placed it in front of the fan to dry. One dry he surveyed his work, bending the hat as he went to loosen the fibers to their more natural state.

Okay.

He placed the hat on his shelf next to the boys sleeping head.

He wasn't surprised somehow that it was the first thing Luffy asked for.

He was surprised at the weird relief and happiness he felt when the pirate pulled on the hat with his large goofy grin in thanks.


	27. Hungry: Are you really Hungry?

"Hungry." Was the simple explanation given as the swordsman reached into the fridge. Sanji hummed, not even bothering to look up from the potatoes he was peeling.

"Do you even know what hungry really feels like, Marimo?"

"I was tied up to a stake in the ground when Luffy found me…I hadn't eaten for a long time. There were times on the road too when food got scarce."

"But that was optional…you agreed to it and even then got a little riceball from a local girl…Luffy told me. Scarce on the road? For what? A day or two?"

Zoro almost growled.

"I KNOW what hungry feels like, shit cook. The gnawing emptiness, weakness, pain…."

"So…" Sanji looked up from the potatoes. "You are feeling all that right now, are you?"  
Zoro shut the fridge and grumbled his way out the kitchen.

Sanji smirked as he picked up another potato.

If only that worked on Luffy.


	28. Punishment: Happy birthday

It was his punishment.

Surviving.

Somehow everything bad had felt like his fault. He hadn't been the one to call pirates to the Orbit…but if he hadn't distracted everyone, caused a fuss, they would have came and went and the crew might have better prepared for the storm that ultimately sank them.

Everyone died except him and the pirate.

The pirate deserved to be punished too, that was easy enough to understand.

Here on a rock in the middle of briny nothingness. A million miles away from his dream and anyone who knew his name yesterday.

It wasn't till he had a knife in his hand that he decided he had been punished enough. Hunger was the worst of worst torture and he certainly wasn't all his fault those people had died. It really was more that pirates fault. The fact the pirate still had so much food left it was as if fate was telling him to kill the old man and claim it.

But he had been wrong. Wrong about so much.

A year later to be in front of a large gorgeous and utterly decadently delicious birthday cake he had helped make did he realize that surviving to be with the shitty old man was really a reward.

What he had done to deserve it, he had no idea.


	29. Sword: Swordsman could have been alright

"It's good to have another swordsman aboard, now Zoro will have someone to practice with!"

Sanji leaned over the edge of the upper deck and blew out the smoke he let burn in his lungs a little too long.

Who had said it he didn't remember and maybe no one had and it was just the feeling that seemed to settle over the scene on the lower deck as Brook unsheathed his sword and greeted Zoro for their daily sparing.

Their styles were different and Sanji couldn't help but surmise that Brook really wasn't too much of a challenge to the swordsman in straight out sparing. The skeletons style was very fluid and elegant but lacking that certain brutality one really needed to go against Zoro.

Brook was having fun and practicing and wasn't coming from a place of anger or tension and had not a hint of bloodlust. Sanji clenched his teeth around the cigarette and wondered if the marimo was really getting anything out of this. It looked like he enjoyed it well enough from this vantage. Maybe just having the opportunity to not hold back on strength was enough to make him happy.

For the first time in Sanjis life, he wished he had learned the way of the sword too. He wouldn't risk his hands in this life but if things had been a little different, there being room at the dojo for another orphan in his village on north blue instead of the Orbit perhaps. Well, maybe, Sanji could have been the opponent Zoro really needed.

He would be like Brook a little…fluid, elegant, quick, but he would be ruthless and chase after Zoros openings in fearless unpredictable patterns and wouldn't give the bastard a second to breath, head butting him if his sword was pinned. Zoro wouldn't have to focus on the blades being turned just so that they wouldn't slice through the cooks shoe, he'd be focused only on the fight. Only on Sanji, his opponent. They would battle passionately until there was a clear winner or until…

"DINNER! SANJI!!"

"Not time yet, shitty captain!"

The cook kicked his captain off him and smiled. Well. No need for what ifs, he turned back to the galley to start the dinner when the voice called out from below.

"AH, Sanji-san…!"

Brook pointed futilely at Zoro, who was standing at the ready ,sword still in his mouth, dead asleep.

"I'm afraid I panicked and used the wrong technique! Now he won't wake up! Yohoho!"  
Sanji grinned and leaped down to the lower level.

"I got this." He stepped forward slowly savoring as he perfectly planted the kick with enough force to throw the man hard against the railing. "Hey Shithead! Time to rise and shine!"

Zoro stood and shook his head once before storming over to the cook to grab his collar.

"What the hell!?"

"It's rude to fall asleep in the middle of sparring,idiot. If it wasn't Brook you'd be dead now."

Zoro released him with a grunt and made a quick apology to Brook who waved it off with an apology of his own.

"Dinner in a hour Marimo." The cook reminded as he began shuffling to the stairs.

"Oi!" Sanji looked back over his shoulder. Zoro raised a hilt to the red mark on his cheek where a shoe had recently connected. "I owe you one…don't think this gets you out of a fight later."

"Che…if you think you can get a hit off me go ahead and try. I don't fall asleep mid-combat."  
Sanji couldn't help hiding a large grin as the idiot fumbled for a response to that one, but he couldn't stick around. He was the cook after all, he had a job to do.


	30. Over a barrel

There really hadn't been a formal introduction.

He had helped save the womans' village…but did she even remember his name? Know he was a first class cook and not just another shitty waiter?

He had hoped he would get some time to talk to her but not like this…caught alone the morning after the villages victory feast exploring the Merrys galley for the first time, reading specs on the bridge of his nose and making a list of shopping he intended to do before shoving off for the maiden voyage with this new crew of his.

For the first time in ten years he felt strangely vulnerable and out of place in a kitchen. He wasn't sure what to say at first…she had come so suddenly and he wasn't sure she was even aware of his official position as their cook.

She looked at him in mutual surprise for a minute and as he gathered his wits to open his mouth and compliment how lovely she was today, his angel snatched the list from his hand with all the skills he'd expect from a master pick pocket.

She glanced at the list and made a noise in disapproval.

"It's too much. You got at least two barrels extra of everything. Some things on here we don't even require one barrel of. "

He didn't want to be in an argument. Not with her. Not on his first day. But this was his job…his livelihood…and it was something taken very seriously.

"I'm afraid I need everything on that list…Nami-san. Not only is the captain insatiable if last night is any indication but the rest of the crew seems to all have a healthy appetite as well. For proper nutrition and diet it is better to have a variety too…."

Nami leaned against the counter and frowned deeper at the list. A sight that caused the cook the twinge of pain.

"Even so…this village has a very limited market thanks to Arlong. "

"But it can accommodate the list…and will even give the local economy a boost."

"You know how supply and demand works, I assume? Even for village liberators the prices are going to be astronomical! We will be at a much larger port in a few days…the prices will be better. The selection will be better. Cut this list down to a few days worth." She handed the blond back the list and went to reach for the appropriate amount of Beli.

"No."

"Excuse me?" She froze and turned to the cook, obviously surprised that the man that had been putty in her hand on the Baratie was actually defying her already. Sanji clutched the list seriously.

"No. As the cook I take the responsibility of your lives, Nami-san…and the sea is unpredictable and unforgiving. If something happens I'll make sure you will be fed. To do that…I need every single ingredient on this list and won't sacrifice a single barrel."

The navigator leaned close to the cooks ear.

"Really Sanji-kun? Can't I do something to change your mind?"

She was so close and whispering in his ear…whispering his name.

"No. Sorry, but I can't."

She smiled and pushed away from him leaving a large bag of beri in his lap.

"Okay then, do try to haggle a bit. I have something to do so I will see you later."

Sanji was stunned as she reached the door and turned around. Did she really give in so easily?

"By the way…I'm glad Luffy finally got us a proper cook. Welcome aboard."

He had passed the test and met her approval.

Sanji smiled and put his glasses away. This kitchen…it really was beginning to feel like home.


End file.
